After waiting 41 weeks and 5 days (the last week + five days feeling like some of the longest of my life) baby Beau decided to make his entrance into the world. If you know me, or follow me on instagram, you know I am a planner and a researcher. So I had done no shortage of research on how I wanted to bring Beau into this world. I kept telling myself and people I talked to that I knew I had no control over it, and Beau would come how he wanted to come. However, I definitely had my desires and visions of how my birth would go. Needless to say, when the time came, I am glad I was able to let go of my research and desires and just do what was best for Beau. So here goes…
Claudette and I about 4 days before I went into labor.
I had hired doulas early in my third trimester, switched to a midwife practice rather than strictly obgyns, taken a natural birth class, read multiple natural birth books, and obsessively listened to a podcast called “The Birth Hour” (which is just women telling their birth stories and includes ALL kinds of births from home births to cesareans to twin births to NICU transfers etc.) I am someone who feels empowered by knowledge and the more I knew about birth, the less scary it seemed and the more I felt I knew what I wanted out of birth so I could advocate for myself. I am still glad I did all of these things even though my birth went nothing like my “preferences” and can not recommend hiring a doula enough! No matter what kind of birth you have this was the single most useful resource and I think helped me go into and come out of birth with such a positive mindset and gave me great coping mechanisms. I hired Margaret and Rachel, who are a team of doulas. Both attended all my prenatal meetings and gave me prenatal support, but only one would attend my birth and that ended up being Margaret, who was FANTASTIC.
Anyways, after all of this research, my birth preferences were to have an unmedicated birth and deliver in the “natural birth center” which has beautiful spa-like rooms in the labor and delivery wing of the hospital I was delivering at. The proximity to the L&D wing made me feel safer about this option in case anything went wrong. I wrote out a bulleted birth plan (with the help of my doulas) to give to my hospital plan and also filled out and mailed in my hospital’s form with birth preferences to the hospital so they had one on file. In my birth plan I included my preferences in case induction or cesarean was needed but in my head I thought neither of those would be needed. My husband and I toured the natural birth center when I was 36 weeks and I loved it. In my head I knew I could labor unmedicated and really wanted to be there.
Fast forward to my due date. I had an appointment with my midwives who checked my cervix, only to tell me I was about 1/2 cm dilated and 50% effaced (which is not very much) but assured me not to worry since your body can go from 0 to 100 in minutes when it comes to labor, and most first time moms go late so just to be patient. I had a feeling I would go late since I was my mom’s first baby, and I came 2 weeks late (which is often not even allowed these days) and also because I had read a lot about if you have a very healthy placenta and amniotic fluid, the baby does not get the signal to come out and I had a feeling mine were pretty healthy. (Not saying all babies that come out on time or early are unhealthy by any means, this is just one of many factors that can cause “late” babies).
I got to my next appointment at 40 weeks, 4 days (this was a Monday) with no signs of baby. At that appointment I was 1 cm dilated and they were able to do a cervical sweep on me, which, caused some cramping and contractions but nothing that lasted. The next day, I had a “non-stress test” at the hospital, which is required at my practice for all women who go over 40 weeks gestation. Beau passed with flying colors… shocker, he was NOT stressed, maybe even a little too happy in me. I was pretty anxious about Beau coming on his own (and not being induced) so I had ANOTHER midwife appointment scheduled on 41 weeks, 1 day (this was that same week on Friday). At 41 weeks (one day prior) my mucus plug began coming out. I thought this was a great sign! At 41 weeks 1 day I had them do another cervical sweep but the only result was more mucus plug. We also had to discuss induction in more depth than previously since it was starting to seem more likely.
I totally understand why some people want to be induced, waiting for a baby is nerve-wracking especially when society can often make you feel like something is “wrong” if you go over your due date and people often like the certainty of knowing when baby will come. Of course, there often is nothing medically wrong if you go over your due date (ESPECIALLY in first time moms, average first timers go 10 days over their due date), and there didn’t seem to be with Beau and I but I couldn’t help but have these feelings. Why wasn’t Beau coming on his own? Maybe Beau or my body didn’t know what to do… Anyways, I was not someone who wanted to be induced. (Of course, some people medically HAVE to be induced, so I am glad it exists for that purpose but I did not medically need it at this point). I had read and listened to too many induction birth stories that had a “cascade of interventions” and this did not go along with my unmedicated birth preference of laboring in the beautiful natural birth center. Also, I wanted to feel what spontaneous labor felt like and know that Beau was coming when he was ready to come. But each day that passed meant I was closer and closer to not having a choice but to get induced. My practice would let me go to 41 weeks and 6 days (assuming we passed non-stress tests) but then I had to be induced if Beau did not come on his own. Many practices induce after 40 weeks or before 41 so I was happy with their leniency. However, the hospital didn’t have room for a scheduled induction on my 41st week 6th day so I scheduled it for 41 weeks and 5 days. My practice scheduled inductions for the evening, we would go in at 5PM to get things started, knowing the birth would happen the next day or the day after.
10 months pregnant vs. 10 days postpartum (notice how swollen my ankles were at 10 months pregnant)
So my induction was scheduled for Tuesday, October 8th at 5pm. As this date approached, I vacillated between feeling increasingly anxious and increasingly at peace with getting induced and just knowing I would meet my baby soon. I had a long phone call with my doulas on Saturday, October 5th and another one on Monday October 7th and after the one on Monday I felt 100% ok with induction. I knew I wanted to start with cytotec (a pill that’s also a cervical softener) in conjunction with a foley bulb (a mechanical item that helps cervix dilate) BEFORE starting pitocin (synthetic oxytocin given via IV, the hormone that helps the body go into labor) so my body would be as ready as possible for pitocin OR maybe those things would send me into labor on my own. My doulas gave me other tips like foods to pack, when to eat, when to sleep during the process and when to call them to meet us at the hospital. On Monday, I also went for a second round of reflexology and a manicure at a spa, I did not think the reflexology would work since I had tried EVERYTHING to get labor started naturally at least twice and nothing had worked yet (read my third trimester recap post for a list of the things I tried). I had intense pressure in my lower pelvis since Saturday and I hadn’t worked out other than walking since I was 41 weeks (the previous Thursday) so when I felt back pain when I was going to bed on Monday night, I thought nothing of it.
I went to bed Monday at peace with my induction the following day and had a plan for Tuesday, I was going to sleep in as long as possible, eat lots of nourishing foods, finalize my hospital bag (which had been packed for over a month) and head to my midwives for one last cervical sweep since my doulas said that could help my induction go more smoothly. Like I said, I had some mild back pain when falling asleep Monday night that I thought nothing of. During the night, my back pain got more intense and more frequent. I would go to sleep after each pain was over but it got to the point where I was repeatedly waking up and moaning and saying “ow” then going back to sleep. My husband said, “I think you’re having contractions, these back pains seem to have a pattern and it seems to be getting closer together”. To which I responded, “no my back just hurts, these aren’t contractions” because I didn’t want to get excited that I would go into labor on my own before my induction the next day and also because I had contractions before and they felt like tightening in my belly not stabbing in my back. I had a few friends who had experienced “back labor” and I had read lots about it so I knew it was a possibility for me but I was in denial since I didn’t want to get my hopes up. I had been doing special “spinning babies” exercises and going to a special prenatal chiropractor weekly to ensure baby was in a good position for birth (both of these were recommendations of my doulas). However, I knew that at 41 weeks baby had turned so he was posterior most of the time (which causes back labor) but I didn’t want to believe I was in it and get my hopes up for spontaneous labor.
Beau (1 day old) in his hospital “tupperware” crib as I called it since the clear box reminded me of a tupperware
The back pains got worse through the night to the point where I could not sleep through them since they were so painful, and they also got more frequent. At this point, my husband said “I’m texting the doulas, this seems like it might be labor”. This was around 2AM on Tuesday morning. At around the same time I suddenly got FREEZING and my teeth started uncontrollably chattering, and my whole body was convulsing with chills. We turned on the heat, put blankets on me but I could not get warm. Sure enough my doulas responded to my husbands text and said the chills and the back pains definitely sounded like labor so we should start timing the frequency and duration of the contractions. They also reminded me of some pain management techniques, like doing cat cows through the contractions, leaning over my birth ball and having my husband do hip squeezes during contractions. All of these helped. They also called to talk me through breathing exercises. My original plan was to labor at home as long as possible since all my sources said this would increase my likelihood of getting admitted to the natural birth center for my delivery, if I was farther along once I got to the hospital. However, Beau was usually VERY active every night, punching and kicking in my belly every which way, and I didn’t feel him moving as much as usual, which worried me. I told the doulas and they said to drink some sugar-y juice and see if I felt more movement (well if you know me, I don’t keep sugar-y juice in the house so the best thing I had was kombucha) which didn’t elicit much movement from him, I also ate one of my “proat muffins” and felt a little movement but not a ton. The doulas said some women feel less movement during labor because of the intensity of contractions BUT I know my body and baby best and if I feel something is off, head to the hospital now.
At this point it was about 4:30AM so I had been laboring at home for 2.5 hours and we decided to head to the hospital. My husband had to quickly throw his stuff together in a hospital bag since he thought he could pack his during the day Tuesday for our Tuesday evening induction. My contractions were about 3.5 minutes apart and 40 seconds long at this point. I had always heard the “5-1-1” rule when it comes to going to the hospital - contractions should be 5 minutes apart, 1 minute long for an hour. But my contractions clearly didn’t match that pattern since they were already closer together although slightly shorter than that rule. Luckily, at this time of the morning there was absolutely no traffic. I had to get in the back seat of the car so I could continue doing cat cows through my contractions which were pretty painful at this point. My hands were in Beau’s carseat and my knees on the backseat. We checked into triage at the hospital at about 4:50AM and they immediately asked if they could check my cervix. I said I wanted to wait on that and get hooked up to the heart rate monitor to see my baby’s heart rate first. The reasons were because (a) I was petrified, since I hadn’t felt him move as much and (b) I didn’t want to get “discouraged” and stall labor if my cervix was not very far along.
Beau and I in the recovery room on the first day he was born. (You can see the bin they gave me for when I was throwing up on my bed). However, that didn’t bother me, I was so in love.
When they hooked me up to the monitor, they could see that his heart rate was normal when I was not having a contraction, which, was a huge relief. However, it was dropping lower than they would like during contractions. At this point it wasn’t crazy low, but they said if this pattern continued I probably would not be able to go to the natural birth center as I had planned since I would need continuous monitoring, not intermittent monitoring. By now, my contractions were over a minute long and 3 minutes apart. I was totally fine with not going to the natural birth center, all I wanted was for my baby to be safe and healthy. I had researched which rooms at the hospital had birthing tubs (rooms 20 and 99 to be specific) and requested that if one of those was available, I be allowed to deliver in one. The staff agreed. Shortly after we checked in, my doula met us at the hospital. She was so calming and helped me tremendously through my contractions by doing very effective hip squeezes to take the intense pressure off my back. Once in a while, Beau would move a little bit and I could feel the contraction in my front instead of my back and this was infinitely less painful (not saying regular contractions are not painful, but for me, back labor got very intense very early on). As I continued laboring, the nurses noticed Beau’s heart rate was getting lower with each contraction and they called the midwife on call in. She brainstormed some reasons that his heart rate could be dropping so we looked into those.
Matt still uses this test to see if Beau is hungry and it hasn’t failed yet - if Beau sucks on his nose he’s hungry
One potential reason was that my amniotic fluid was low, which, is common when women go far over their due dates. The solution to this would be to break my water, and give me a fluid transfusion. However, they checked my fluid with an ultrasound and I had plenty. Another potential reason for his heart rate dips was his position. So the doula, nurses and midwives had me try all different positions and shook me around to see if moving him could improve things - but that didn’t seem to be the problem since his heart rate did not improve. They also thought maybe his cord was wrapped, but from the fluid ultrasound, that did not appear to be the issue. They tried hooking me up to IV to see if that helped, it didn’t. At this point I let the midwife check my cervix and she told me I was at 3 cm. This meant they would have to consider a cesarean section. If I was at a 9 or 10cm and closer to delivery, they might let me “risk it” with a vaginal birth since he would be born soon. But since 3cm in a first time mom could mean 12-24 hours to delivery, and his heart rate was getting lower and lower during contractions as my contractions got more intense, it did not seem like that was a safe option for us. The midwife said we could watch his heart rate through a few more contractions but if things did not improve, they’d have to operate.
During every contraction I would listen to the bubump bubump sound of his heart rate get slower and get so scared for him, I could also see the number on the screen get lower. I no longer cared about delivering unmedicated or even delivering vaginally, I just wanted my baby to be safe! After about 2 total hours of me laboring in triage with monitoring, my husband whispered to the doula to see if it would be an ok time for him to take a bathroom break. She said go ahead since I had her support and we didn’t really know what would be next for me. At that point, my midwife brought back a doctor from my practice. I had chosen to do all my visits with midwives so I hadn’t met any of the doctors but that didn’t mean I didn’t trust their opinion when it came to delivery. This doctor said she took a look at my entire “strip” which, means the record of Beau’s heart rate from the moment I checked into triage, and I’d need to go to the operating room for a c-section as quickly as possible. This was at about 7AM. My husband returned from the bathroom to see me signing papers, people undressing me, and putting me onto a stretcher. He was confused and the doula/midwife filled him in that I’d need an emergency c-section because of Beau’s heart rate. He started tearing up, he knew that this was far from my original birth preferences but I assured him I was ok with what was happening and I was excited to meet our boy and get him out as safely as possible.
Beautiful Beau at his hospital photo shoot when he was 2 days old.
I was in the operating room on a stretcher with drapes over me by about 7:10AM and by 7:48AM I had a baby! It all happened so quickly but here is what I remember from this part. When I got to the OR they had me sit up on the stretcher to apply the epidural in my back. It felt cool going down my body and gave me instant relief from the intense back pains I was now having from my back labor. Then they had me lay down and did tests to see how numb I was on different parts of my lower body. Once I could only feel “pressure” and not pain, my husband came in dressed in a “hazmat” type suit with a cap over his head. He had brought essential oils my doula gave him to hold under my nose for the operation. He sat next to me, behind the drape, and held my hand as the surgeons cut into me. There were tons of people in the room and I didn’t know who was doing what exactly but lots of people were checking on me. I had the intense urge to vomit but nothing could come out, I just remember dry heaving during the operation. After what seemed like not very long we heard a “WAAAAAAH” and that was Beau crying. It was the best moment ever! I am getting teary just thinking about it. We could see he was pink and perfect.
I wanted to do skin to skin right away but the surgeons told me that was not sanitary until they stitched me up. So I watched as they brought Beau over to do various tests. My doula had luckily reminded me that my preference was to do “cord milking” if we weren’t able to do “delayed cord clamping” because of the cesarean. But they were able to do the delayed cord clamping like I wanted. Matt and I looked at each other, both in awe and so happy. I thought I would burst into tears when I met my son but I was in so much shock I don’t think I was able to process enough to cry. After Beau was done with his testing, they wheeled me back to a temporary recovery area and brought Beau there. Our doula met us too. They were able to put Beau on my chest so I could keep him warm and he knew how to nurse right away. It was so amazing to be able to feed him!
Beau getting acquainted with his big sister Claudette.
Beau was born on Tuesday, October 8th at 7:48AM weighing 7 lbs, 5oz. That Tuesday was the best day of my life. But the rest of the day was physically, a little rough for me. In the recovery area of the OR they told me I could only eat ice chips and not consume any water or food. So I chewed some ice chips while I fed and bonded with Beau. When they brought us up to our own hospital room, they said I could try some water (I was SO thirsty). I did, and immediately projectile vomited it up. My legs were also completely numb at this point so I was totally bedridden. If I wanted Beau, Matt or a nurse had to bring him to me. As the initial medicine wore off I could feel pain in my lower core from the surgery as well. I continued to not be able to hold down liquid for most of that day, which, wasn’t pleasant. But by that evening I was able to drink some broth, have some jello and also got up to go to the bathroom with the assistance of a nurse (I had been on a catheter up until that point).
Me bundling up Beau bear for a walk outside a few days after we got home when I was feeling mobile again.
Beau slept lots and we loved just staring at him. Late Tuesday night I was able to keep down some real food and things went uphill for me from there. On Wednesday I could get in and out of bed by myself and do some small movements in our room and by Thursday I was walking laps around the hospital floor with Beau. The hospital gave me one of their belly bands that I started wearing on Wednesday and this gave me so much support in my core. I was very sore in my neck and back from breastfeeding, now I don’t experience this pain, but I think it was because I was not able to use my core muscles and didn’t have my comfortable breastfeeding chair and pillow that I use at home. Matt was also very stiff and sore from sleeping on the hospital cot. So I had my prenatal masseuse visit us in the hospital and give us each a massage on Thursday, our third day there, which did WONDERS. Sleeping at the hospital was difficult, not because of Beau, but because it felt like every 5 minutes someone would come in to take my vitals or Beau’s vitals, check on my scar, see how Beau’s latch was, give me medication etc. So as soon as I would fall asleep, someone would barge in and wake me up (granted they were just doing their job). However, there were many perks to having a longer than expected stay at the hospital. The nurses and staff were extremely helpful and attentive when we or Beau needed anything so it made the transition to having a newborn a lot easier.
On Friday morning, we started to prepare to go home. When we got home, we introduced Beau to Claudette, which did bring tears to my eyes. But she was so excited to meet him and clearly in love with him. Matt had brought home a hospital swaddle and hat of Beau’s for Claudette to smell a few days prior and she loved them. It felt like two different worlds, having Beau at the hospital and having him at home. Having him home and truly welcoming him to the family was the best. I share this story for several reasons. First, I am proud of Beau’s and my own courage. Second, I listened to and read numerous birth stories of all kinds before giving birth, and this took away the fear and stigma around it and made me realize it’s a special, beautiful process. Listening to other women’s stories helped me feel empowered and excited going into birth so I hope sharing mine can do the same for others. And third, to help other women who are “planners” like myself see that birth will never follow your plan, and that’s ok!